Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
