I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
