just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
