so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
