Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize