$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
