I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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