sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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