no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
