i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
