ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize