the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
