my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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