I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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