Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
