Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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