I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
