I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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