i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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