id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
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