It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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