You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
