dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
