Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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