I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this boner is exhausting
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
