How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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