Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
