He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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