paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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