Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
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