Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
