hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
