Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
