i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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