im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
