I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
