I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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