But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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