And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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