at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
