Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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