The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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