There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
