I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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