worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
