just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I will die if light touches me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
