Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
