Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
