Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Don't EVER smell your tampon
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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