ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
