I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
