so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My balls are so social today.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize