Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize