normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
