I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
