The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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