Don't you send me to vm
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
