Midget sex pt 2 tonight
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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